Who Should Be In Your #BrideTribe?
Some helpful advice for making the second biggest decision about the biggest day of your life
Congratulations- he popped the question, and you’re officially going to marry the man of your dreams. You’ve decided to spend the rest of your lives together (and we’re so happy for you!)
But one thing we’ve heard over and over again is that the initial cloud-nine bliss can quickly be eclipsed by the pressure of picking your bridesmaids.
Sure, there’s that one for sure that you’ve planned to be your maid-of-honor the whole time you’ve been dating your Prince Charming…but narrowing down the rest may seem an impossible choice.
Do you have to include everyone you’ve been a bridesmaid for? What about his sister? How do you choose between childhood friends you never see and friends you made last month that you really enjoy? How are you supposed to break the news to that one friend who you suspect is absolutely sure she’ll be in it? Do you have to have the same number of bridesmaids that your fiancé has of groomsmen?
Clearly, there’s potential for your stress level to shoot through the roof, but Kadlee wants to keep the stress off of you and help you focus on enjoying your engagement. Wedding planning is supposed to be fun, and at the end of it all, this day is really all about you.
We’ve compiled a five insightful tips that may make choosing your squad easier!
Tip#1 – Consider who will actually want to/be able to handle the responsibility!
The level of involvement you expect from your bridesmaid will depend on the scope of your wedding and your personality, but typically being a bridesmaid is expensive, and it’s a sizeable time commitment! Not everyone can afford it, and not everyone will be offended if you don’t choose them! These girls are here to be your support system, and you should be able to rely on them- to be on time, to respond to messages, to get tasks done, to make the process fun. If they’re more likely to put stress on you than take it off, that’s something to consider.
Tip#2 – Don’t purely base your decisions off of who you’ve known the longest!
Yes, the amount of time you’ve known someone is a major factor, but it shouldn’t be THE major factor. If you were really close to someone in high school but have only seen them/contacted them a few times since then, and you don’t see a close relationship with them moving forward, “old times’ sake” isn’t a good enough reason to choose them over someone new in your life you’ve gotten close with! Choose the people you’re going to truly want by your side- the ladies who will make it more fun and more meaningful.
You should also make an effort to include his sister(s) if you can! Unless they ask you not to, or you’ve never met them before, they should be part of the bridal party. They’re going to be your family moving forward, and selecting them would mean a lot to them and to your fiance.
Tip#3 – There are other ways you can include people you love in the ceremony!
Being selected as a bridesmaid is a huge honor, so that role should go to your closest girls. But if there are some special people that you still want to have around, make them feel part of the wedding in other, creative ways! You could have an invite addressing/mailing pizza party, for example, and invite more ladies than your bridesmaids to turn a tedious task into a fun celebration. You could have girls who aren’t your bridesmaids greet/seat guests, be readers at the ceremony, or help set up decorations. Not everyone has to be a bridesmaid, but anyone you want to can be part of your big day!
Tip#4 – Use this system as a starting point!
If you’re really struggling to narrow it down, use this bridal party point system from Amanda MacMillan at brides.com (insert link to https://www.brides.com/story/how-to-pick-bridal-party-bridesmaid-quiz) to help you decide! But remember, ultimately your bridesmaids should be who you want them to be. If someone ends up with less points but you still want them in your bridal party, ask them!
You are siblings: +10 points
She and your fiance are siblings: +4 points
You’ve been BFF’s forever: +1 point for every five years you’ve been one
You’re BFF’s now: +2 points. +5 if she’s the first person you called after saying yes.
She was a bridezilla at her own wedding: -3 points
Being around her just makes you happy: +5 points
You’d trust her opinion in any dressing room: +1 point
You were a bridesmaid at her wedding: +2 points (unless statue of limitations -5 years- is up)
1-6 points: Someone has to do the readings, right?
7-14 points: Makes the cut!
15+ points: By a landslide. Maid of honor?
Tip#5 – Don’t ask until you’re sure!
In the excitement of the moment, it can be easy to accidentally respond to the eagerness of your friends, but remember that once you ask someone to be a bridesmaid, you can’t go back. So take a few weeks to think about the decision! That gives you time to reflect and makes you more confident in your selection, which is important moving forward. It also gives you time to come up with cute ways to ask them, including getting them a personalized Kadlee robe! Shop now at kadlee.com and stay tuned for more blog updates about wedding planning tips!